I’m so very you feel alone :( I’m not sure how old you have to be to get help with confidentiality, but I started with my mom. Maybe that won’t work for you, maybe you should make an appointment with your family doctor. From there your family doctor will make a reference to a psychologist.
I live close-ish to you, so I’m wondering that help for you will be free. I see a social worker and a psychologist (plus I go to a DBT group.) There is a long waiting list, so the sooner you go the better. It will feel weird and awkward but trust me… be honest with them! They won’t tell your parents unless you have a threat to yourself (I think though if you’re above 18 they don’t have to). It’s a bit of a long process, lots of questions so be ready to answer them. Remember they are not there to judge you. They want to help you. Getting help was the best thing I could do because before I got help I was constantly leaning on friends and family and I felt like I was degrading their quality of life because of my problems so I started holding them in. Now my social worker is the rock so all my bad can go to her and we can work on it, and my family and friends (generally) get the good in me.
Let me know how it goes.
Best Regards,
Chelsea.